This type of semantic squabbling is a very effective way of getting women to shut up. After all, most of us grew up learning that being a good girl was all about putting other people’s feelings ahead of our own. We aren’t supposed to say what we think if there’s a chance it might upset somebody else or, worse, make them angry. So we stifle our speech with apologies, caveats and soothing sounds. We reassure our friends and loved ones that “you’re not one of those men who hate women”.
What we don’t say is: of course not all men hate women. But culture hates women, so men who grow up in a sexist culture have a tendency to do and say sexist things, often without meaning to. We aren’t judging you for who you are but that doesn’t mean we’re not asking you to change your behaviour. What you feel about women in your heart is of less immediate importance than how you treat them on a daily basis.
You can be the gentlest, sweetest man in the world yet still benefit from sexism. That’s how oppression works.
|—||Of course all men don’t hate women. But all men must know they benefit from sexism (via bodypartss)|
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Sabrina Posselt, Fast Ride, 2011
I got in the most heated argument of my life with a man I don’t know. Like, literally I started saying “Are you gonna hit a girl cause that’s on you, do it, do it” that is NOT my usual behavior but I’d had a few drinks and have HAD IT with guys thinking it’s ok to grope you however they want. I…
FUCK RAPE CULTURE